Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Thankful

So, as you know, Thanksgiving is coming. Too quickly if you ask me, and yet not soon enough. I want to get this dinner over with. I have too much going on, and I have a lot of cooking to do. I can't even cook! But I did already make some peanut-butter Snicker® cookies. Now I can't stop eating them! Bad Apryl! They're supposed to be for the kids!
I've been explaining to my kids what Thanksgiving is about. They don't have Thanksgiving here (some of the kids swear they do, they just can't remember the date), and it's fascinating to them that we gorge ourselves with food - especially turkey. I told them to expect me to show up fat and bloated on Friday.
I've also been asking them what they are thankful for. In addition to the family and school, they've been including me and my English classes. Awww... they're such suck-ups! Like I'm going to give them a better grade or something.
I'm finding more and more reasons to be thankful... slowly but surely. There are definitely mornings when I have to convince myself to get out of bed. I don't know why it has to be that way. Today turned out to be a good day. My classes were fairly full of students, and Brandy was able to get her art classes underway with some interest from the kids. I'm thinking that she'll be able to get that class full in a short amount of time. Parents are coming and telling me that they want to sign their kids up for computer classes. One parent has actually paid. I know it's a lot of money for them, and I'm proud (and a little nervous) of them for making the investment. So I have my first computer class with one student (maybe two or three)... tomorrow!
Meanwhile, I have a new sidekick. His name is Toshko. I've mentioned him before. He's a nice boy, but he's a little "cheeky." These are his words. (laugh) I have never heard anyone describe themselves as cheeky. He's been showing up at the end of my classes to try and glean some English and then walk me home. This used to be my counterpart, Angel's, role. Not necessarily to be "cheeky," but he used to always be by my side and constantly walk me home. It's weird how life progresses and people assume different roles. I think I'm at a point where I can walk myself home, but I shouldn't complain about having the company. It's dark when I go home.
My colleagues are still pretty tightly-wound. I'm no longer the golden volunteer I once was. It's not like I get yelled at or anything. I don't know how to describe it. The tone still changes a little when I'm addressed, but it's definitely not like it was before. You would think it's good because they're used to me, and now they're giving me more responsibilities to do within the foundation. This is a good thing, right? Unfortunately, in my insecurity, I'm a little worried that this is soon going to open me up for some barbs myself. I honestly can't believe how they talk to each other sometimes. I hope it's just stress. I hope we all get over it quickly. I just don't enjoy going to the office as much as I used to, and I sometimes try to find something else to occupy my time so I don't have to go. What I find to do is, most of the time, valuable to my work, but it's no good to want to avoid the office.
Maybe I just have a habit of burning out at whatever I'm doing after a year of doing it. It was certainly that way at my last job. I never really loved working there, but I definitely felt the pull of getting away after fulfilling a year there. Maybe it's a mental thing with me, but I'm wanting to say that it's not necessarily true. My experience here is definitely different from what it was a year ago. I almost feel like I'm in a new place doing new things. Only the characters haven't changed - but they have in a lot of ways. Whatever. I'm just going to keep praying.
Oh, and they turned off my internet for a while. I guess that's what happens when you don't pay your bill. Hahaha. I'm still impressed by how proactive they were about it. I thought it would take a while - both to shut me down and bring me back up again, but I got the internet back pretty much as soon as I paid the bill. Impressive.
Okay, I'm going to go get some more food made. If I'm not back on here before Thursday, I hope you all have a very warm and happy Thanksgiving. If you think of it, please say a prayer for us over in Rakitovo. We could use the warm wishes. Much love to you all.

No comments: